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MEETINGSThe room was full of people I didn't know. And this was getting seriously unconfortable... On my behalf, at least. I hate these get-togethers my parents are so keen on. I was only trying to find in which table I was supposed to sit. That's another thing! Why the hell can't I sit next to my parents? I'm not the one who wants to socialise! "I'm never getting dragged to this kind of thing again." I grunted.
Table, after table, I was going from one way to another across the room intending to find my place and glue myself to the seat for the rest of the night. "Aha!" I finally spotted my name. Rushing there, I started wondering until when I had to stay there... I sat down on the empty table and glanced at the names of the people who would sit beside me. 'Ryan Harlow'... Never heard of him. I looked to my other side. 'Olivia Matthews' Oh. God. Why. My parents had presented me to the woman earlier. She was such a pain! Always talking gibberish, asking thing
EMPTYI woke up feeling empty, missing something I quite never had.
I got up and carried on with my day wishing for something that didn't make me feel empty but I couldn't think of anything so I gave up. I tried to focus on something else and it worked.
I was happy for the time being but the world seemed to decide that I shouldn't be: insecure as alway, I only needed a few words to eat me up from the inside out. I had been feeling alright, and even daring to like myself a bit more than usual, and any other day, I'd probably laugh it off and push it to the back of my mind to be ignored or forgotten. Today I couldn't do it, and now... now, all I said and felt before means nothing to me. I'm hating myself.
They say 'I can't believe you're always demeaning yourself!'. Well, I can. If everyone else does, why should I believe myself better than whom they see?
I keep going on with my day feeling emptier than before, and now I can't help but focus on that feeling.
I eventually went to bed earl
Long time no see... (fic)
Abigail had gone out of the Academy not as early as she wished. It was the beginning of the weekend and she wanted to get lots of things done. She wandered around the island from shop to shop gathering the things she needed: school supplies that were running short, ingredients for some potions, and get a present for Delilah's upcoming birthday... She had come out of the apothecary full of bags with herbs that should be stored as quickly as possible. Maybe I should go back to the dorm, store this, - she checked the time - and have lunch. After lunch I can come back... And with that in mind she started her way back.
One of the good things the island had, in Abigail's opinion was that everyone knew each other, from inside and outside the Academy. But right now she cursed her bad luck as she saw a familiar face asking for directions to one of the inhabitants of Tea Island. The man was surely telling him how to get to the school grounds... And now he's pointing in my direct
ONCE UPON A TIME"Once upon a time there was a little girl.
This little girl was like many others... Had family, friends and dreams.
This little girl lived happily through every day.
One day, she grew up.
One day, everything changed."
"Yeah, yeah..." She said not too sure what she answered to. Lazily, she got upstairs and locked herself in her room. The dim light reflected her figure on the mirror across the room. It looks like I'm looking to a stranger. The hard truth was she was no longer a little girl and people had expectations. Too high, for my liking. Her parents have expectations.
She walked to her bed and sat down... Being eighteen is too much of a pain in the ass. As she glanced to the pile of homework to do and notes to study, she decided to leave it to the next day. She lied down and intently watched the ceiling: it was full of the drawings she had done through the years... Why the ceiling? Well, the wall
MORE THAN WORDSNothing better to do during in a sunny morning than being at a café, eating chocolate ice-cream with waffles, and working on my PC. Well... I say working but, truth be told, I'm just blogging, spending some time in online gaming, answering e-mails, updating software. Oh! And music, of course. There's not really much things to do since I'm stuck here this summer. Thank God, the owner was nice enough to let me use the Wi-Fi without paying...
"Lynn!" someone called. I sat up straight, suprised by hearing my name, and looked around. Damn it! Not him. I turned to the PC screen and adjust the headphones, wishing he would walk away. "Lynn? It's you isn't it?" he said again, only this time he was right beside me. I nodded to acknowledge his presence but not for once I tore my eyes from the screen in front of me. I kept typing like nothing had happened until- Wait! I didn't invite you to sit here! I am not amused! He tried to get me to talk... Again. "Do you rem
WHERE IS HOME?"Stop!" I was running towards her. She was about to get on her bike. I needed to scream louder. "I said STOP!" That made her look. When I got to her I took her hands in mine. "Please don't go..."
"But, I shouldn't... I have to go, eventually." She replied.
It was the truth. "I know, but don't go today." I softened my grip on her hands. "I can't make you stay, if you don't want to. However, if you have the tiniest hope that we can get through this, don't go... Don't make me let you go." I pleaded.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I- I don't know. I'm so confused and I need some time to figure something out." She opened her eyes and looked me straight in the eye. "I'm going to my parents' for now. They have been living there since I remember... There, everything is familiar and that is what I need now."
I was taken aback. "You know you can count on me, right?" She nodded but before she could speak I continued. "Then stay... You know better than to lie to yourself: you're not goin
Let People InI used to hate people so much because they're so quick to judge and betray each other. They'll say they're your friends, but then ignore you or shun you when it stops being convenient or fun for them. They use you as much as they can, and when they're done with you they all just disappear. I didn't want to have friends like that, and I thought I didn't need them. I thought that, but it wasn't right at all. I thought I was stronger, rejecting relationships and friends. But once you reject people, you're stuck. You lose the opportunity to make those connections that define your life. And when you've lost those chances, you don't get them back.
I found someone like me to share my pain with. She's still one of the most special people in my life, right up there with my dad.
Whenever you meet that person, don't turn them away.
Up until recently, that's all I've ever done. I've tried to build trusting friendships, romances... and it always comes crashing down around me. Often because of my ow
Wrong side of the mirrorI can see a woman, watching me through the glass. She is young, in her early twenties, with a haunted look about her. There is nothing especially spectacular about her, but something something quietly remarkable draws you in; captures your attention; fixes you to the spot.
Her eyes are a slate grey, intense and piercing; a dark energy smouldering in their depths. You notice that they glow a deep blue, like the ocean, when caught by the morning light, sometimes even the shade of a pale winter sky. A subtle ring of gold accents the border between her pupils and irises, which hold a faint sparkle of mischief against their black voids.
A shock of tight, red curls, messy yet somehow precise, frames her face. The sides of her hairstyle are trimmed short, not quite a mohawk; showing her natural gold-tinted brown. You could almost imagine her as one of the blond, adorable, cherub children, if not for the shadows of experience marking her features.
Beautiful is not a word that suits her, and de
Ugly.As a young child, new to the world, pure of it's intoxicating fumes, I remember a tree.
Such an ugly tree I remembered it to be.
It stood tall, creeping a good ways above any of the others, but it was disfigured in many ways.
Its branches were thin and fragile, like the bones of a sickly human, they twisted in retched ways that anyone would think should snap them clean off.
It was pale and grey, standing out among its fellow familiars, never to show the beautiful colors that it must have held within.
Its bark was edgy and course, as if it had survived through one of to many harsh winters, never falling from its place.
And I remember, as the others land succumbed to failling, giving themselves up, withering away, that tree never did.
It continued to stand tall, proud and majestic as that ugly tree could possibly seem.
It fought its way through whatever was thrown its way, fought until it could no more, never failing whatever duty it believed it needed to fulfill.
Morbid FantasiesI played it out in my head, how it would all turn out, and what would happen depending on which method would be used. It's horrible when I run out of creepypasta narrations to listen to on youtube, because then I'm alone with my thoughts. I think about things that make me sad, angry, and hurt. However, this particular thought brought along not just pure hatred, but satisfaction, and admittedly, a dose of fear.
I was invited to join my "family" for thanksgiving by my grandmother. Nice gesture, but she should already know that my roommate has work, and we have a yearly tradition of our own. Besides, I honestly do not enjoy being in the company of my "family," since I never really considered them as such, save for my brother.
But I knew in my heart, that she'd be there. Because they trust her. They would "forget to mention it" to me of course, but I know she'd be there. And I've played the scenario over and over and over in my head.
I vowed to live long enough to watch her d
Since Facebook Isn't AppropriateSince Facebook Isn’t Appropriate
And ‘cause dA is better than Facebook. If we go to your wall, I’m wishing you a happy (Insert number here ‘cause I really can’t specify) day on planet Earth. Actually, give or take a couple of those days because someone thought it was a good idea to randomly add another day. (Or maybe it wasn’t so random, but whatever, humorous effect.) But in all seriousness, if I could, I’d let everyone know how lucky I am to have you in my life and how I only want to be with you. I know we have our ups and our downs, our stale and our spontaneous moments but they’re all moments I wouldn’t give up ‘cause I have probably learned more about myself during these last 262 days than I have during the 5,943 days (Give or take ‘cause again, leap years.) I existed before you.
I hate generic birthday messages ‘cause you’re not a generic lady and I don’t think we’re a g
My HeartYou know you’re truly in love if hearing her name, even if it’s not being referred to her, fills you up with undefinable joy. You know you’re truly in love when you remember how your voice trembled when you called her and read her the letter, asking her to be your girlfriend. You know you’re truly in love if the pure thought of feeling her soft skin on yours makes you shudder with delight. You know you’re truly in love if, she’s not only the first and last thing on your mind every day, but also after every meal, every motion, every book, every song, every breath. You know you’re truly in love when 771 miles isn’t the distance you are away from each other, but rather the amount of roads, bridges, and rivers you’d cross to get to her. You know you’re truly in love if every song you hear you can connect to the overwhelming joy and the infinite sorrow she makes you feel. You know you’re truly in love when you write a story a
Regret and SorrowI'm sorry for being smart
I'm sorry for being nice
I'm sorry for being gullible
I'm sorry for being dense
I'm sorry for being stupid
I'm sorry for being the same
I'm sorry for being different
I'm sorry for my mistakes
I'm sorry for being lonely
I'm sorry for loving
I'm sorry for existing
I'm sorry for being scary
I'm sorry for being a coward
I'm sorry for my smile
I'm sorry for saying sorry
I'm sorry I stand out
I'm sorry I'm invisible
I'm sorry for being blind
I'm sorry for being deaf
I'm sorry for being mean
I'm sorry for being here
I'm sorry for these letters
I'm sorry for being human
I'm sorry for being here
I'm sorry for everything
I'm sorry for being me
Stay or Leave?"Don't get mad. I don't like it."
"Don't cry. I don't like it."
"Don't be sad. I don't like it."
"Don't smile. I don't like it."
"Don't laugh. I don't like it"
"Don't be you. I don't like it"
Then what am I supposed to do?
Then who am I?
You're saying you don't like me.
But you stay with me.
To change me into someone else
So that I don't exist anymore
I'm tired of it
I'm tired of changing
But I don't stop
I'm able to but I don't
Because you are the only one left
If you're gone,
I'll be left behind
All over again
But if you stay
I won't exist
But it wouldn't matter anyways.
True Love: Part one
Finding true love yourself, it is quite rare these days. But once you’ve met your special one, once you’ve looked into their eyes, you will know that something big is about to happen, if you realise it or not .. it will.
You will know deep inside, when your heart starts to skip a beat, when you want to simply grab her and kiss her until you both run out of breath.
True love is not about what you have to offer, is about how much are you willing to give, to share and sacrifice for her. It is about trying to make her happy at any given point, out of nowhere, cause you wanted so. It is about sharing your thoughts with her, telling her that you’re scared of losing her someday .. she will simply kiss your nose and tell you “silly, you’re never going to lose me”.True love is beyond physical attraction, if two souls get united, the reaction will be so powerful that absolutely no one can separate you, ever.
WHAT LIES BENEATH...Some days I wish not to be the one who's always happy.
Sometimes I wish not to be the one who always wins the fight.
I wish not to lie about how I really feel.
I wish not to smile when all I want is to yell, kick or punch.
Why is it so hard? I think I have no longer the ability to show my true feelings. Maybe I don't know how to feel anymore. All is left is sadness, anger, pain and happiness. Nothing more, nothing less.
I can't bring myself to trust easily people around me... Even the ones I trust the most aren't allowed to know me. I don't let them.
All I wanted was someone... Just someone to see right through me. See the loneliness, the insecurity, the fear.
Some days I wish I had someone whom I trusted.
Sometimes I wish that one person saw what lies beneath my smile.
I wish for someone who trusts me and who I trust.
I wish for a person to hug me and tell me that is okay for me to yell if I want. To cry. To hug back.
That person who knows how I really feel and is by my side.
Leaving Southampton She was in the kitchen when he stumbled in noisily, tripping as he went past the shelves and catching the edge of the table to keep himself from falling.
Pretending not to hear the stream of curses that followed, she kept her eyes fixed on the dishes, letting her hand trail in the soapy water. There was a loud scraping of wood against grimy concrete as he drew a chair and collapsed into it. At this she looked up, and after a moment's hesitation, she said, unnecessarily, "You've been drinking."
He clutched his head and said nothing. He hadn't shaved in weeks and stank of sweat and alcohol; he looked much older than his eighteen years.
They sat in silence for a while. Then he announced, loudly, "Fuck."
She didn't bother to tell him off. She just waited. And jumped when he suddenly brought his fist down, hard, onto the table.
"Our lives here are s
Our DutyWe swallowed the path home
Because we were hungry,
Though starving is an ongoing
Story, an empty bag
Dancing in the streets,
Full of an unfastened voice
Walking through the house,
Wind unchained, heart admonished.
Heaven fills its eyes, crawls away,
That sleeping boat content to follow
The vacant waves, intervals
Of dying that we dare not interrupt,
And we watch the kind ear shrinking
From our charcoal docks; heaven
With a full stomach crawls away.
This is what we were put here for.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More