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MEETINGSThe room was full of people I didn't know. And this was getting seriously unconfortable... On my behalf, at least. I hate these get-togethers my parents are so keen on. I was only trying to find in which table I was supposed to sit. That's another thing! Why the hell can't I sit next to my parents? I'm not the one who wants to socialise! "I'm never getting dragged to this kind of thing again." I grunted.
Table, after table, I was going from one way to another across the room intending to find my place and glue myself to the seat for the rest of the night. "Aha!" I finally spotted my name. Rushing there, I started wondering until when I had to stay there... I sat down on the empty table and glanced at the names of the people who would sit beside me. 'Ryan Harlow'... Never heard of him. I looked to my other side. 'Olivia Matthews' Oh. God. Why. My parents had presented me to the woman earlier. She was such a pain! Always talking gibberish, asking thing
EMPTYI woke up feeling empty, missing something I quite never had.
I got up and carried on with my day wishing for something that didn't make me feel empty but I couldn't think of anything so I gave up. I tried to focus on something else and it worked.
I was happy for the time being but the world seemed to decide that I shouldn't be: insecure as alway, I only needed a few words to eat me up from the inside out. I had been feeling alright, and even daring to like myself a bit more than usual, and any other day, I'd probably laugh it off and push it to the back of my mind to be ignored or forgotten. Today I couldn't do it, and now... now, all I said and felt before means nothing to me. I'm hating myself.
They say 'I can't believe you're always demeaning yourself!'. Well, I can. If everyone else does, why should I believe myself better than whom they see?
I keep going on with my day feeling emptier than before, and now I can't help but focus on that feeling.
I eventually went to bed earl
Long time no see... (fic)
Abigail had gone out of the Academy not as early as she wished. It was the beginning of the weekend and she wanted to get lots of things done. She wandered around the island from shop to shop gathering the things she needed: school supplies that were running short, ingredients for some potions, and get a present for Delilah's upcoming birthday... She had come out of the apothecary full of bags with herbs that should be stored as quickly as possible. Maybe I should go back to the dorm, store this, - she checked the time - and have lunch. After lunch I can come back... And with that in mind she started her way back.
One of the good things the island had, in Abigail's opinion was that everyone knew each other, from inside and outside the Academy. But right now she cursed her bad luck as she saw a familiar face asking for directions to one of the inhabitants of Tea Island. The man was surely telling him how to get to the school grounds... And now he's pointing in my direct
ONCE UPON A TIME"Once upon a time there was a little girl.
This little girl was like many others... Had family, friends and dreams.
This little girl lived happily through every day.
One day, she grew up.
One day, everything changed."
"Yeah, yeah..." She said not too sure what she answered to. Lazily, she got upstairs and locked herself in her room. The dim light reflected her figure on the mirror across the room. It looks like I'm looking to a stranger. The hard truth was she was no longer a little girl and people had expectations. Too high, for my liking. Her parents have expectations.
She walked to her bed and sat down... Being eighteen is too much of a pain in the ass. As she glanced to the pile of homework to do and notes to study, she decided to leave it to the next day. She lied down and intently watched the ceiling: it was full of the drawings she had done through the years... Why the ceiling? Well, the wall
MORE THAN WORDSNothing better to do during in a sunny morning than being at a café, eating chocolate ice-cream with waffles, and working on my PC. Well... I say working but, truth be told, I'm just blogging, spending some time in online gaming, answering e-mails, updating software. Oh! And music, of course. There's not really much things to do since I'm stuck here this summer. Thank God, the owner was nice enough to let me use the Wi-Fi without paying...
"Lynn!" someone called. I sat up straight, suprised by hearing my name, and looked around. Damn it! Not him. I turned to the PC screen and adjust the headphones, wishing he would walk away. "Lynn? It's you isn't it?" he said again, only this time he was right beside me. I nodded to acknowledge his presence but not for once I tore my eyes from the screen in front of me. I kept typing like nothing had happened until- Wait! I didn't invite you to sit here! I am not amused! He tried to get me to talk... Again. "Do you rem
WHERE IS HOME?"Stop!" I was running towards her. She was about to get on her bike. I needed to scream louder. "I said STOP!" That made her look. When I got to her I took her hands in mine. "Please don't go..."
"But, I shouldn't... I have to go, eventually." She replied.
It was the truth. "I know, but don't go today." I softened my grip on her hands. "I can't make you stay, if you don't want to. However, if you have the tiniest hope that we can get through this, don't go... Don't make me let you go." I pleaded.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I- I don't know. I'm so confused and I need some time to figure something out." She opened her eyes and looked me straight in the eye. "I'm going to my parents' for now. They have been living there since I remember... There, everything is familiar and that is what I need now."
I was taken aback. "You know you can count on me, right?" She nodded but before she could speak I continued. "Then stay... You know better than to lie to yourself: you're not goin
What is on the other side?When you're staring at your reflection, what do you see? It is obvious to most people that you see an
exact image of yourself, but how do you depict that lingering 'image' that surrounds you?
What exactly do you 'see' when you look into a mirror? Light is everywhere and no person can escape
it. The same can be said about a person's feelings no matter how hard they try to cast a shallow mask
behind their true emotions.
Just how fragile are we? There are some who have more willpower than others, but lack in other
departments that help to build us up. What is it that makes you a strong or weak person?
What are you gazing at? Do you perhaps see a strong individual on that other side of the light? Is
there something dark and mysterious about that 'impostor' that you just can't figure out yet? Where
are you? Who are you?
What is on the other side?
do it.Suffering isn't always pain.
Sometimes its having to itch your finger,
when you wanna strike a match,
and watch it all just fucking burn.
Blue met NovocaineBlue was looking for his Novocaine. He didn’t think it would be possible to find her…but they met! She found him in a dark corner, and she made him come back to life!!! What’s funny is that Blue always liked her Novocaine!!! The REAL Novocaine exists, Novocaine is real! Blue and Novocaine ARE real! Novocaine is such a sweetheart, such a beautiful girl, with a huge heart and an amazing soul! Her sweetness and her love are a drug for Blue!!! She’s an addiction for him!!! If Blue’s an angel, as Novocaine says, then Novocaine’s a Goddess, as Blue says! Novocaine and Blue are two beautiful soul who now are one!!! U2 said “two hearts beat as one”, and they were right!!! Blue can feel the beating of Novocaine’s heart, because her heart is his heart!!! Novocaine is everything Blue has always been looking for: sweetness, romanticism and a beautiful soul! I think Blue and Novocaine are two dreamers. Their dream will come true!
In light of today, World Suicide Prevention DayFirst a disclaimer: I am not suicidal, nor have I ever been.
However, I know about depression, and how it can lead you to seeing but one way out of your suffering: death.
It's not that you reallywant to die: you just want the pain to stop at last.
My long-lasting brush with depression started when I was about 14. I got bullied for passing my exams after missing three months of school. In hindsight, it seems like such a ridiculous reason to bully someone to the point they're dead inside – but kids can and will be cruel if they feel insecure, jealous, or otherwise beaten by life.
I'm 33 now. I spent about 10 years getting back up that slope after 'but' one year of bullying – but boy did that class of 31 people not make me feel at home. Only a few of them were actual bullies; the rest just either didn't care, played along a little bit, or turned their backs to me. I was the easy target: introvert, creative, always quiet and in the back of the class, never learned to fig
My Best Friend"A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. "
The world is grey when I want to cry. It blurs and shifts as my eyes fill with tears. As the water builds up, it finally starts to flow down, down, down, hot waves on the searing sand of a beach. Lights flicker and distort as I wipe my tears away and try to think its alright. But it's not. Until you appear. You, a bright shining rainbow that spreads light and colour to every inch of my world. You might not know it, but you're the one that keeps me going. You're the one that is always there for me, even when I want to be alone. I love you for that. Thank you for sticking by me. I treasure the memories that we have made, and look forward to the future.
Ataque de estres/ansiedad Empiezo a sentir mareos, así que me voy tropezando por los pasillos buscando un cuarto vacío. Finalmente encuentro uno. Entró y cierro la puerta con llave para que nadie pueda entrar.
Mire la hora en mi celular. 2:34 am. Creo que fue una mala idea ir por una caminata, a estas horas nadie esta despierto.
Mi corazón se esta acelerando y mis manos tiemblan. Me siento en el piso y sostengo mi cabeza con las manos, tratando de relajarme. Mi respiración es anormal, y estoy sudando.
Ahora no es el momento.
Puedo sentir el hormigueo por todo mi cuerpo aumentar.
No, para, por favor.
Puedo escuchar mi corazón latir. Todo parece estar mas alto y mas callado al mismo tiempo.
Mi visión se pone borrosa, apareciendo y desapareciendo. Mire mis manos, las cuales están temblando incontrolablemente. Me siento aturdida.
Esto me ha pasado antes, bastantes veces en realidad. Cuando me siento sola o como una carga esto pasa. Es por eso que odio enfermarme,
WHAT LIES BENEATH...Some days I wish not to be the one who's always happy.
Sometimes I wish not to be the one who always wins the fight.
I wish not to lie about how I really feel.
I wish not to smile when all I want is to yell, kick or punch.
Why is it so hard? I think I have no longer the ability to show my true feelings. Maybe I don't know how to feel anymore. All is left is sadness, anger, pain and happiness. Nothing more, nothing less.
I can't bring myself to trust easily people around me... Even the ones I trust the most aren't allowed to know me. I don't let them.
All I wanted was someone... Just someone to see right through me. See the loneliness, the insecurity, the fear.
Some days I wish I had someone whom I trusted.
Sometimes I wish that one person saw what lies beneath my smile.
I wish for someone who trusts me and who I trust.
I wish for a person to hug me and tell me that is okay for me to yell if I want. To cry. To hug back.
That person who knows how I really feel and is by my side.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More